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Last week my husband and I visited a hot springs resort for three days. Unfortunately, while we were there, we witnessed a marriage being destroyed by a wife that could not seem to stop herself from putting her husband down in public. The poor man acted as though he was past the point of being embarrassed by her behavior, but I'm sure he was boiling inside.
The first time we saw them was not too bad. The woman was extremely overweight and her husband preceded her into the pool and sat down on a ledge for those who just wanted to soak in the hot water rather than swim in the deeper end of the pool. The woman came down the stairs behind her husband and said in a loud whiny voice, "Move over. You always take the best spot." Then she made a big issue about shoving him over until he was hanging off the end of the bench.
After a few minutes of trying to balance there, he stood up and leaned against the edge of the pool but that did not stop her from continuing to harangue him with comments like, did you put the dog inside the trailer? Move my slippers near the edge of the pool so I can put them on as soon as I get out. Did you stop to see if we had any mail? No? Can not you ever do anything right? "(That last phrase seemed to be one of her favorite things to say to him.)
The man did not bother to say much more than yes or no in answer to her questions. No doubt he was used to her behavior, but I was embarrassed for him and could not help but wonder how much longer he would put up with it. I can assure you that my husband would not have.
The second time we observed this woman in action, the couple again occupied the pool at the same time we did, and the husband moved quite a distance away from his wife, hoping I assume that she would find someone else to talk with. She did, but that did not stop her verbal abuse of him. "Hennnn-ry! Where is my bottle of water? Did not you bring it? I told you to get it before we came. Well, because you can not ever do anything right, I guess we'll have to cut our time in the pool short. " Etc. etc. etc.
She would never have treated a stranger or a friend with such disrespect, so why did she think it was okay to behave that way toward her husband who should have been the most important person it her life? It was all I could do to keep from punching her, but then my husband would have had to move to the other end of the pool and pretend he did not know me.
I wondered if this abusive person had any idea of the damage she was doing to her marriage. Unfortunately, people who behave like she did are usually the first to say, "But I thought we had a great marriage," when they are served with divorce papers.
This is not the first time we have run across people who verbally abuse their mates in public. (It makes you wonder how they manage to survive being alone during private times at home.)
How about your own marriage? Do you ever find yourself saying something to your mate in public that would be embarrassing or even humiliating if it had been said to you?
We've all heard the old saying, "If you can not say something nice about someone, then do not say anything at all." This should apply even more to a marriage. Harsh words said to a stranger, although inappropriate, are usually forgotten in a short time, but harsh words spoken to that person we promised to love and cherish for the rest of our lives, are wounds that may never heal.
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Source by Jeanne Gibson
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